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Conversations like this....

should never happen

Cust: I can't get connected!
Me: Okay...(already knowing he's got an aircard)...let me have you bring up the connection manager.
He does so.
Me: Alright...go ahead and press the button for edge/gprs, please. (he does) Now, make sure the pull down menu that has "connect using" is set to {network}, and then hit connect.
He gets himself (after a few times of walking him through where to find the connect button) connected. We pull up the browser, and I have him surf to red.com. I swear this man is on a speaker phone or something - I'm only getting part of what he's saying, between the speed of his speech, the general muttering, and the fact that he seemed to be walking *away* from the phone while freaking out.
Cust: It says (something I can't fully hear or understand) work offline
Me: Okay, that's an easy fix. In the open browser window, go into file....
Cust: (pause, an irritated sigh, another pause) Start?
Me: No. Right there, in the open window for Internet Explorer, there should be a file option near the top..please select that.
Cust: Oh, yeah..right, right. There.
Me: On the list, it should have "work offline"...is that marked?
Cust: Yes.
Me: Go ahead and remove the check mark from that, and try going to red.com again
Cust: (muttering, sighing, generally acting as if I've just asked him to save the world with a toothpick) Okay, I'm there.
Me: Great! So, now you're connected, and should be able to browse anytime you want. Looks like all we needed to do was make sure the browser wasn't in a work offline mode...
Cust: It was never checked!
(insert urge to bang head to make it stop hurting here)
Cust: I'm connected..but I'm not connected through my card! (more panicing, muttering and sighing)
Me: Uhm, okay. Do you have another way of connecting to the internet?
Cust: No.
Me: (after picking my jaw up from the desk and biting my tongue) Well, then you're connected....you were able to browse....
Cust: (cutting me off) Yes, but not through the card! I have two computers down there...and there's a big X through them! What good is this if it isn't working?!
Me: (Pause, hesitate, try to figure out what he's talking about) Okay, when you click on those, what's it say?
Cust: Weefee (pronounced as its spelled, by the way) ...W-I-F-I
Me: Oh, yes...well, you're connected through gprs, but you are...
Cust: But it says I'm not connected!
Me: Not through Wi-Fi...you can't be connected to both, but again, you're connected to the edge/gprs...
Cust: You're confusing me! (more whining that I don't fully hear or understand) What good is this if I can't get connected? It's not working!
Me: Well, Sir, you *are* connected....
Cust: Now it says it wants a network key...what's that?
Me: (again, biting my tongue) Well, its a network key to access the wi-fi network.
Cust: Well, I need that...what is it?
Me: Most of our wi-fi connections are public..you wouldn't need a key to access...
Cust: I can't connect! If you don't have the key...why did I buy this? I don't understand! What's the Wi-Fi for then?
Me: Well, Sir, its for when you're somewhere where edge/gprs doesn't have a signal or connection...like a starbucks or barnes and noble...
Cust: I need the network key!
Me: I can get you down to our wi-fi department, and they can answer any questions you have on...
Cust: What's the key?
Me: What network are you trying to connect to?
Cust: I don't know! (whining again)
Me: (trying not to say something that'll get me fired at this point) Well, when you look at the connection manager, there should be a list of networks...
Cust: Yeah..
Me: Which one is highlighted?
Cust: AT&T
Me: Okay, you'll have to call AT&T to get the network key...you're trying to log onto an AT&T network
Cust: But...what good is this if I can't connect?!
Me: Would you like to connect to the wi-fi instead of the gprs?
Cust: YES! (More whining about how he's not connected, how I'm confusing him, and how much time he's spent trying to get the *insert choice words* card to work)
(transfer)

Seriously. Almost an hour on that call.....*after* I had the issue solved. Dude...you ARE connected. You can't browse without connection.....if you don't have that much computer understanding, please....DO NOT purchase one. Ever.
I think my ears were close to bleeding.....

Comments

( 4 comments — Drop A Feather )
flamewing
Jan. 5th, 2007 10:14 am (UTC)
I would have hung up on dude seriously. I have less and less patience for people like that
fenris_wolfolk
Jan. 5th, 2007 05:33 pm (UTC)
Hey I think that guy works here
=)

Wow that would drive me insane,
Here's one for you, I get a 4am call from the Crab Plant that the computers are down I get up and come down only to find that he had Num Lock off and thats why he couldn't enter his numaric password................Dumbass

But you win the Support medal of the year with that call, wear it with pride.
leohat
Jan. 6th, 2007 05:47 am (UTC)
Re: Hey I think that guy works here
Ummm no, that is closer to the norm for our calls. Pretty much par for the course. Some calls are worse than that.

swade2569
Jan. 5th, 2007 07:23 pm (UTC)
Kudos for you to stick it out with that.

/shudder
( 4 comments — Drop A Feather )