onyx (onyxangel) wrote,

Mincing of words.

One should never get into a word battle with another who weilds them like a life force. Things are said, and you as the communicator must make sure that what you are saying is clear. Yet, even when it is, the blame is put on the listener?
I know that sometimes what you say and what is understood are two different things. Hell, I've fallen into this several times in my life. But, how can it be perception when its a straight forward, outright yes/no question?
Perhaps a bit of background, without naming names, because he'll know who he is if he ever bothers to read another perspective of what he's done. I got tangled in something that perhaps I shouldn't have, stepped in a field I more than likely had no business being in, but here I am anyway. Someone hurt a friend of mine. This is not acceptable, not in the way it was done. On top of that, he tried the same word games with me. Big no-no. This is someone I only communicate with (thankfully) on the computer. He asked me "Do you have a friend you can set me up with?". He's said other things since then to lead others on, to make himself look innocent, but for those conversations I wasn't there. I did however become privy to him telling my friend that he had a woman he was giving his all to, and that he wasn't interested in anyone else. Mere days after asking me this question, and leading her to believe that yes, he was looking for something else.
I asked him why he asked me to set him up if he was perfectly happy where he was. He garbled something about how it was my perception of the question. And, when I confronted him on how I could misinterpret such a straight forward question, I got no response. I had no intention of ripping him apart for what happened between him and my friend, as I wasn't there for most of the conversation and felt no need to be in the middle. But, when he started his little 'I'm so innocent' game. It seems to me, that if you have several people coming at you (and he did) about what you've said and questioning it in detail that perhaps you may want to find a new way to express yourself, to make yourself clear to avoid such things in the future. However, if you wish to play games, be prepared to play them to the hilt, or don't even bother. Walking away from the conversation, or doing the equivelant of, is cowardly. I'll admit, I got vicious, and I got angry. Very angry. It galled me that he started the game but didn't have the fucking balls to finish it. Next time you mince words, don't do so with a girl who uses words as her last defence, and her greatest victory.
A lesson well learned in my life: The mincing of words *will* come back to haunt you.

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