onyx (onyxangel) wrote,

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My need to give advice

So, Jenni comes to me with an issue. Its a rather large issue, one I'm not going into detail on. But, its there, and its big. She IM's me, says she's upset. I'm not good at comforting other people. I have absolutely NO idea what to do with someone who's upset. So, what do I do instead? I pop off with some advice. (cringe) I hate that. Its like some genetic throw back from my grandmother or something. A disease maybe. I dunno. But, there in midst of her crises, I toss it out. "Well, I can't tell you what to do...". UGH. Why do I do that? See, I hate it when grandma does it to me. Only she doesn't start with "I can't tell you what to do.." because she doesn't see it that way. To her, I'm 5, and she can...and well, often does. Then gets upset when I remind her (usually not too kindly) that I've aged beyond 5 and can more or less take care of myself..and that if I want her advice, I'll ask. Nevermind that how she generally gets her information on what goes on in my life *isn't* through me, but through some other family member. How my various family members come about said information, I don't know. But, there it is. Now its grandma's duty to throw said activity or feeling in my face with "well placed" advice. It just kills me that she taught me this over the years. And, worse yet, others *come* to me for advice. (Not that Jenni did) But...even when they don't..they tell me something, and I'm all over it. "Well, if it were me, I'd do.." But, it isn't me, is it? And that's exactly the point. I have to work on this need to spout advice, good or otherwise, to someone who may just want a little comforting. Sorry Jenni...I'll work on the comfort part of things.

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