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May. 6th, 2002

Just once, I'd like to be someone's priority. Is it really too much to ask? I put so much of myself into things...even intimate friendships...and, sometimes, it just seems I get so little back. I don't want to deliver ultimatums, or lose friends....but, on the other hand...well, it hurts to always be put on the back burner because something else has come up. I realize that sometimes, somethings are going to take a priority over a friend and/or partner. It just seems sometimes, that its always that way when it comes to me. I get an apologetic smile and a shrug...."I'm sorry." So am I. I'm sorry it hurts when I'm left behind to sigh and think "here we go again". But...when you want attention, or want the friendship...I'm always there. Most of the time...I just accept it as my nature.....I put myself there, I know it. But...tonight, tonight, I want to cry. It just feels so fucking empty.


May. 7th, 2002 11:49 am (UTC)
Aye! i had that happen a LOT when i was younger...it doesnt seem to happen as much anymore, although having most of my friends either artists or musicians. there is somethings that I just expect. But for me all i needed was a change of scenery...and poof everything fell into place with friends etc. Of course im one more happy to be a shooting star in ppl's lives, so when our lives dont coincide anymore i just let it go to the way side, But thats what i also get when my closest friends ive only known for 3-5 yrs...used to be 7-9 but that just went to the way side...our point had been reached together as friends and it was time for us to move on to bigger and better things :) but thats just me 2 cents. and im the one that should be ignored :)
May. 7th, 2002 12:15 pm (UTC)
*chuckles* I appreciate the insight. I've been thinking more and more about a change of scenery lately. Perhaps that move to CA would be good for me...
May. 7th, 2002 12:34 pm (UTC)
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh so now your going to start stalking me? i see how it is hahahahahahaha

see it can even be a minimal 'change of scenary' its ment in a more metaphoric way. the first 'real' move i do is a year july down to Los Angeles. otherwise i was born and raised in the seattle area, but at times ive just stepped back stopped calling ppl for a while and enjoyed being with myself, then ive always ended up meeting someone somewhere that has gotten me into a whole new set of friends. always 1 or 2 from the previous group coming with me, but for the most part that evolution has brought me to a point in my life where i have amazing friends who i love to death, but dont have to see/talk to everyday. its an event when we all get together but a lot of fun.
May. 7th, 2002 12:57 pm (UTC)
Its not so much that I have to see or talk to them everyday...its that, when I do talk to them, I'm put on the backburner for something or someone else. Its also not that this happens every so often, but seems to be fairly consistent with some. *shrugs* I'm left at a point of why bother....but, I'm too 'loyal' to let go. And, I know that when they come to me, I'll sigh....and be there. Feh.
Stalk you? Hmmm..now *there's* an idea...*evil lil angel grin*
May. 7th, 2002 01:10 pm (UTC)
hahahahaha well i know what your saying about being loyal, a lot of friends that i 'left behind' i would still do just about anything for if they got ahold of me...but i know its the same with them if i REALLY needed them...its just kinda how our friendships went...ive always been 100% into them...its just at times i personally step back and reevaluate everything....

Now, i am an experienced stalkee, but i doubt anyone can out do some of my ex's in that matter :)
May. 7th, 2002 01:27 pm (UTC)
May. 7th, 2002 03:50 pm (UTC)
oh now you MOCK ME!!!!!!!!

you best watch out....
or ill make sure you OBEY THE FIST
May. 7th, 2002 04:00 pm (UTC)
Feh.....I'm trembling ;)
May. 7th, 2002 04:40 pm (UTC)
you should be n stuff....
yo, cause ill go all gangsta n shite
May. 7th, 2002 04:44 pm (UTC)

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