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Do you ever feel so small and insignificant that you just don't matter? It hit me hard tonight...like a wave that crashed over me, leaving me with tears threatening my eyes and a hollowness inside that can't be described. All at once, I was on the outside, looking in...the knowlege certain that I didn't belong. It wasn't that I felt lonely...just, hollow. That painful kind of hollow...a sort of remorse. In that moment, time stood still. It couldn't have lasted more than 30 seconds...but, the aftershocks. They weren't the same, but....they were still felt, keenly. Am I the only one who ever feels this way? What's wrong with me that I do?

Taste the salt upon your lips,
For the tears are genuine.
Drawn from the depths of who I am,
The very core of my soul.
Given freely in pain and honesty.


( 7 comments — Drop A Feather )
May. 10th, 2002 07:10 am (UTC)
No, you are not the only one. I think many, including me, feel this way
regardless of their situation or reasons. I don’t think anyone can sit back
and judge anyone’s feelings regarding this subject either. Many will say,
“Feel better, you have so much to be happy about.” That may be true if
they were you. I think only you will really be able to change
your feelings. Only you know what you need.

I personally don’t know what I am looking for. I have this void, this
emptiness, though many would say I shouldn’t. Unfortunately, I'm still
searching for missing element.

I don’t want to come off as negative, I truly hope you fund what you
need to fill your emptiness.
May. 10th, 2002 04:57 pm (UTC)
*smiles* I know what you mean. I'm happy with my life, its not that I'm not...its just...something's not there. A piece is missing. And sometimes, it just hits me with such force I feel like I'm going to tumble over.
May. 10th, 2002 07:24 am (UTC)
May. 10th, 2002 02:40 pm (UTC)
Your not alone, believe me, I've felt that more times than I care to think about, the thing is to remember you have friends, ones that care about and are willing to help anyway they can. (HUGS) anything you need I'm here for ya, and if you want to do something tonight I know a really good chinese place around here ;)
May. 10th, 2002 04:52 pm (UTC)
*smiles* Thanks...
May. 10th, 2002 06:36 pm (UTC)
You're watching them talking, their lips move and the words that tumble forth seem oddly familiar but you seem to only understand small words like "The,is,when" Its almost like your hearing a forgein language that you took a semester of while highschool so you can pick out those small insignifant words. You realize no matter what, you can't grasp their words and you feel your self drift away as the people around you sort of dim, and you notice that you are even watching yourself nodding as the one person continues talk incesently. Its cold out in the void, because you don't have your flesh and blood keeping you warm. Sometimes it even opens options to you that you would have never of seen, some good things, some bad.

eh, its normal. I hope.
May. 10th, 2002 06:38 pm (UTC)
I apologize for the spelling errors my fingers move to fast and I can never refrain from hitting enter in time to stop and spell check :{
( 7 comments — Drop A Feather )