onyx (onyxangel) wrote,
onyx
onyxangel

Well...I just had a talk with Tyr. I guess you could call it that. Maybe it was more of an argument....which I didn't mean for it to be. He has so much other strife, I don't want to add to it. But, he's signed off now, and I can't tell him that. He thinks he bothers me, but he isn't. I want to be his friend...but, its hard to feel the connection I had with him once, and it hurts. He thinks by self destructing, he only hurts himself. If only that were true......I'm watching him go through what he watched his ex wife go through. His method is different, the result will be the same. It hurts, to the core. It hurts that he thinks he bothers me, or that maybe I don't care. I do...maybe more than I should. I'll admit..I was angry. He made time to call his first ex wife for her birthday.....and didn't call me on mine. I get an IM that says 'happy birthday' and a statement that he had to work all day (which I don't doubt). .... and that I was busy, so he didn't want to call. The next day was spent recovering from drunkeness the night before. Its great to know...that I rank somewhere under alcohol. That's alright, I'll just swallow my pride...and my feelings...and continue on, as I always do, right behind my little wall. Eventually, I'll work it out.
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