onyx (onyxangel) wrote,


Hmn. Well, now, interesting developments in my exploration have developed. *grin* I am negotiating via email a scene to play out next week at the club. So far, it includes body painting (no, not blue). I'm excited, and am hoping to have pics of the work done. He's an excellent artist and is willing to do a dragon for me :) We are in the process of negotiating other play to go along with it. Hmn.
On this note, I do believe this is the first time I've ever negotiated a scene. I mean, by the time I feel comfortable playing with someone usually, we have a fair idea of what's really liked, what's okay to be pushed and what lines are not to be crossed. But, this gentleman is fairly new to me. I mean, I know him from around the club, and I've spoken to him a bit here and there..but he's more aquantance than friend at this point. However, now that I have a little bit of experience under my belt, maybe its time to let go of some constraints and just explore? I mean, some constraints are better left in place, sure..but, overall, sometimes it just seems that I'm holding myself back from experiencing things. Fear. I know what it is..its fear of looking like a fool in front of someone. Pride, my biggest downfall (Okay, one of them). *sigh* Now, to find a work around so I can explore and learn and enjoy myself. I can let that wild girl inside me out :)
This...is a good first step, and its a really good sign that I'm excited about it. Okay, well, its the dragon *grins* Actually, that's not just it....its playing. Not sex, but just playing. I know the two don't have to intertwine. I like the idea of possibly being bound helpless again...feeling the falling kiss of a leather flogger against my back..the sharp sting of a paddle (even though I don't care for sting, go figure). Or better yet..the cold steel of a blade sliding along my skin *sigh and shiver*
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