onyx (onyxangel) wrote,


Some lovely quotes - provided via email from mom:

"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job.But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."Jeff Foxworthy

"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them? Marilyn Pittman

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." Johnny Carson

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" Warren Hutcherson

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait." A. Whitney Brown

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." Drew Carey
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