April 8th, 2002

devil girl

(no subject)


I am Don't stop me now.

You live for today in a pretty extreme way, you're so in the now that you
don't even remember that there was a then.

You're incredibly determined and will get what you want by hook or by crook
even if it means stomping on the little people.

But hell... at least you're going to have fun doing it.
What Queen song are you?



Mmhmmm..
devil girl

(no subject)

Your innate talent and conscientious work ethic have earned you the
admiration and respect of your coworkers. Today, Jessica, you are likely
to learn that the higher-ups think just as well of you. You can expect
to be recognized in some way, either with a promotion, a raise or a
challenging new project. Your career is moving along nicely, giving you
much to celebrate...


This falls right in line with the tarot reading we did in class. I forgot to mention that on my update, but here it is. Basically, the cards are telling me to change my attitude, and that I am valued because of my time here. "Go with the flow" was the general message..so, I'm trying. Funny how this is working out, eh?
devil girl

Damn email....

Just when I thought I had it. Grrr. Some of the lists sort correctly, others just continue to dump into my inbox. The kicker is...I've looked at the correct ones to verify how I'm doing it and correct the others..but they don't look any different! *whimper*
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated
devil girl

(no subject)

Well, I got a few bills done. Whew. I got the internet paid for again, yay! Cable though is going to have to wait until next paycheck since they just issued new charges. They're threatening to send me to collections though - nevermind the first bill I got was in March. I think I managed to get the name changed on it, and a break down of what the charges were. I feel better about paying it. Now, I just gotta get my butt down to pay the electric. And get money for Jenni for rent, but I can do that later this week. I feel a little bit better now.
  • Current Mood
    *sigh*
devil girl

(no subject)

Well, looky here. Its 4:30 almost...just 2 little hours left, then I go home. Well, sort of, I'm hangin' around to give a co-worker a ride home. I don't mind though, after 6:30, I'm off the phones. Wooo! Today has gone quick. And despite the three escalations, hasn't been bad. I've been sneezing all damn day, ugh. All in all, I'm in a fairly good mood...yay me! That's great for a Monday.
devil girl

(no subject)

Whew! I made it through yet another day. Go me. Its always a bonus.
During my last few bits of work, I was flipping through lj's in a futile attempt to keep up, and stumbled across digitalscream's friend's diaryland diary. (Uhm...yeah). I like it. I like the diary set up, and I like the way she writes. Color me envious. I have been talented in my writing, but I doubt I've ever been eloquent. Of course, I am my own worst enemy, and while I'm wrinkling my nose and proclaiming "EW!" my friends and loved ones are going "More!". Shall I believe them or just assume they are just biased and boosting my ego? *grin* Either way, it works. I write for me, and hope that others gain pleasure from my words. But, alas, I do stray from the original thought topic....not highly unusual for my wandering mind.
I was once again thinking of the differences between the journaling systems. For those of you just joining my programming, or those who don't remember past showings..I too was a diarylander. Until I discovered lj. This format seems so much easier for me to work with for some reason. I always felt that I fell short on diaryland...mostly with my posting.
The styles seem so different from one to the other..that it just seems my style fits in more here. I know that really no two journals are alike, regardless of where they're kept..but, I don't know. It just feels more natural here to do the 'meandering thought' thing, which I do on occassion..or the more common short posts throughout the day. It also feels more comfortable swearing here. Don't ask, I don't know, I'm just weird that way I guess. All in all, this format just seems easier for me to process in my own little mind, and therefore easier for me to manipulate. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to knock diaryland..its a wonderful program for those who can manipulate it well. I just didn't feel like one of them.
I can also get and leave comments much easier on this system...I like to know that people read what I write, regardless of how boring and mundane. I dunno..maybe deep down I'm an exhibitionist. *grin* Maybe for me, this is like opening up my living room windows and hoping someone dares to take a peek inside. You may just find furntiure...or you could find something more exotic. Or maybe, its a way of 'giving back'. I like to look into other people's lives...and this allows them to return that. Or maybe its just some far off twisted form of affirmation.
devil girl

(no subject)

Another though just occured to me...perhaps I should putting more of myself into the journal. I mean, more than what I do with my day or what goes on currently. A bit of my past may not be a bad idea. It is, after all, a part of who I am...and the reasons I became *how* I am. The past is something I look at, sometimes through rose tinted glasses, and sometimes with a sigh. I try not to regret anything, and for the most part, I don't. I like to think that I've taken the lessons well and learned from them, even if a few of them were pretty harsh. I've had a good life, and most of it seems to have disappeared from memory into that nameless, shiftless fog that seems to cloud my mind most of the time. I have entire years that I just simply don't remember. *shrugs faintly* But, I do have other memories...and I have memories that I'm not entirely sure are memories. They seem real, but I'm not entirely sure they happened...I have a very vivid imagination, and if it was something I thought about often, pictured often.....its possible the line of imagined and real blurred enough that I'm no longer able to tell. That sounds incredibly bad...and like I lie compulsively or so much so that I don't know what's truth anymore, which isn't it. I tend to exaggerate sometimes, but I don't lie...I have no reason to, really. I may give things a different slant than they had the last time I told the story...but, at the moment, that's how I remembered it. High school, for example, will sometimes be remembered as a good place...other times just a place I spent 4 long years trying to pry myself away from people...and yet other times, just a place I'd rather not think about. *shrug*
Well, judging by my clock and rapidly rambling thoughts, I'd better get my scruffy ass off the work computer and head to the car, I think my carpool person is almost ready to go.
devil girl

(no subject)

Well, poor digitalis may read this twice, but I stumbled upon it in her journal. I had every intention of just commenting on her journal, but now I feel in the mood to expand on this. The journal I'll be commenting on is tasharavenscry. This journal won't allow me to post comments there, or I would.

Tasha states: women's emotions flow from one another much smoother and easier than man-to-woman. It's a point blank truth , though anyone can cut it up and dissect into a million little pieces, women with women merely connect on a more primeaval emotional level.

I have to disagree that its a 'point blank truth'. To whom? Not to me, that's for certain. If its true for her experiences, great! But, it isn't for mine. On the whole, being around other women is awkward for me. I don't know how to relate to them, even on a 'non-romantic' level. Of course, this 'point blank truth' may be for gay women, of which I am not.
Point of fact, in my experience, my emotions 'flow' better when I'm with a man. Perhaps this is the result of being a tom boy at a young age. When I was growing up, for a long time, I was the only female in the neighborhood. Of course, this gave me some insight to how men think and react to things. Oh, I won't pretend to understand them any more than I understand my own gender. Which..I don't.
In my experiences, women are much more confusing and underhanded. This does not, in my opinion, make a 'smooth flow'. I have had very few good experiences with women, primarily due to that distinct lack of emotional flow I have with them. I by no means associate with my 'masculine' side more...in fact, I'm far from masuline. Conversely, I wouldn't really consider myself feminine either, but I suppose that depends on one's definition of feminine. Let me say that mine is the girly girl..all pretty pink lace and ribbons kinda girl. Not me.
This, however, strays from the original thoughts about the journal. Which was primarily to say, that this isn't 'point blank fact'. I know I can't be the only female out there who gets along better on an emotional level with her male counterparts than she does her female counterparts.....
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative