April 17th, 2002

devil girl

(no subject)

I spent a frustrating lunch hour on the phone with the cable company. I understand that yes, I was negligent in payment and that does have consequences. I understand that said consequences are that the charges are written off to a collection agency. This didn't frustrate me, I knew it was going to happen. What frustrated me was spending 45 minutes tracking down the friggin' account to get it paid off. I called, gave the account number, was directed to an agency. No account. *growl* Call the cable company back, get another agency number and, what do ya know, no account. Call me frustrated by this point. I call in to the cable company *again*..I'm frustrated but I don't think I've raised my voice at all. I know the girl wasn't happy with me, but then, I wasn't happy with things either. I told her that I was trying to pay off the acount today, a payment that they were trying to collect, that I'd tried the two agnecies they have and neither of them have my account. I asked her point blank where it was, as I wanted to get it taken care of. Finally, she took payment for me. I didn't really care where the payment was made, just so that it was made. Good side to this, I will have cable again on Friday.
I went to sleep near 4 am again this morning. I had told myself that I'd be in bed before 3 am. Yeah. I tried..but Tyr got online, and I haven't seen him in awhile now. So, I'm glad I did stay up. Though I was a bit groggy this morning, I don't regret it a bit. Even though he was working, we talked a lot and it felt good. We discussed his orders and what options he has. He told me that he wasn't 'stalling'. Proof positive that he does actually *read* my journal, heh. He was deliberating. If he were stalling, he'd have an answer. So, we're no closer to a solution (or at least I'm not) but I feel better. I know he worries about uprooting me, but, really, I'm ready. I can cope. It seemed to make him feel better when I said that. I mean it too. At any rate, I think we got some things cleared up that may help him in his decision of what to do. I think we can make it, regardless..but I need to know he believes we can make it through whatever the army pitches at us. Otherwise, I'm not sure its going to be worth trekking thousands of miles away from family and friends. By no means do I think its going to be easy, and I'm not asking him to promise that we *will* make it, he can't tell the future anymore than I can. But, the belief is enough.
devil girl

Mincing of words.

One should never get into a word battle with another who weilds them like a life force. Things are said, and you as the communicator must make sure that what you are saying is clear. Yet, even when it is, the blame is put on the listener?
I know that sometimes what you say and what is understood are two different things. Hell, I've fallen into this several times in my life. But, how can it be perception when its a straight forward, outright yes/no question?
Perhaps a bit of background, without naming names, because he'll know who he is if he ever bothers to read another perspective of what he's done. I got tangled in something that perhaps I shouldn't have, stepped in a field I more than likely had no business being in, but here I am anyway. Someone hurt a friend of mine. This is not acceptable, not in the way it was done. On top of that, he tried the same word games with me. Big no-no. This is someone I only communicate with (thankfully) on the computer. He asked me "Do you have a friend you can set me up with?". He's said other things since then to lead others on, to make himself look innocent, but for those conversations I wasn't there. I did however become privy to him telling my friend that he had a woman he was giving his all to, and that he wasn't interested in anyone else. Mere days after asking me this question, and leading her to believe that yes, he was looking for something else.
I asked him why he asked me to set him up if he was perfectly happy where he was. He garbled something about how it was my perception of the question. And, when I confronted him on how I could misinterpret such a straight forward question, I got no response. I had no intention of ripping him apart for what happened between him and my friend, as I wasn't there for most of the conversation and felt no need to be in the middle. But, when he started his little 'I'm so innocent' game. It seems to me, that if you have several people coming at you (and he did) about what you've said and questioning it in detail that perhaps you may want to find a new way to express yourself, to make yourself clear to avoid such things in the future. However, if you wish to play games, be prepared to play them to the hilt, or don't even bother. Walking away from the conversation, or doing the equivelant of, is cowardly. I'll admit, I got vicious, and I got angry. Very angry. It galled me that he started the game but didn't have the fucking balls to finish it. Next time you mince words, don't do so with a girl who uses words as her last defence, and her greatest victory.
A lesson well learned in my life: The mincing of words *will* come back to haunt you.