May 6th, 2002

devil girl


Okay, I know I'm skipping Saturday, but I think I'll update on that later. Bryan taught us a ritual and we blessed some tools. Right now, its late and I can't get my details together to post it :)
Spex gave me a copy of a program he wrote for a BOS. So far, I like it...its much easier than what I'd been doing before. I'm testing it for him..and giving him ideas on how to improve it. I'm thinking, a way to catagorize it. Like by Holiday, Spells, Meditations, etc. He said that he'd be getting the search engine in it working soon, which is cool, that'll save a lot of trouble! A little tweaking and it'll be a spectactular program! He also let me play with his Tarot one. Its nice, but definitions of cards are sometimes so personal and varied. I'll forward him some of the notes from the class I took. Its been most informational.
Today was pretty relaxing actually. I had many plans to start getting the house clean, but have since forgone those. Slept most of the drain I think. Took Zac home late, and stayed late talking to the other bonzo boy ;) Didn't get home until about 11:30 pm - too late to clean. I'll do at least some of it tomorrow. Jenni said that we got a notice that they're coming out this upcoming weekend to inspect for repairs. Hopefully this means something will get fixed. Yes, I know...I haven't been particularly diligent on calling either...
I suppose I should get to bed soon, but now that it's 2 am, I'm really not tired. *sigh*
devil girl

Points program

I gotta say, so far I like :) I just started really looking at it today, but it looks really good. I've had my mocha this morning, and I had oatmeal. Only 14 points in that..not bad. I even get to eat a vending machine pizza and stay within my points. Dinner will be a bit more difficult, but not really. Lots of menu choices for chicken at 7 points. My high goal is no more than 31 points. If I can stick with this, I'll be good to go! I can eat out, and save points each week to 'build up' for eating out. Yay! I can look at meals, and plan at least dinners, which will be nice. Housework gives you activity points (which is nice, since I seem to do quite a bit of spurts). I'm feeling really rather confident in this program. I can eat what I want..which is nice, no feeling of being lost when I look at something and don't know how many calories it has or something like that.
I've been good with my mochas too, I've gotten everyone of them as non-fat this weekend. Yay me! These are little steps, but little steps are better than no steps. I'll weigh myself this evening, though I have my starting weight programmed already...still, it'll get me into the habit. I'm actually excited about's that for a change? *beams* Look out world! Here comes a leaner, trimmer me!
Whew! Today has been an excellent day so far!
devil girl

(no subject)

Called to get the brat cat in to get fixed. First, shots, then going from there. The vet isn't sure he's old enough - but said that if I bring him in, he'll see how old he is and go from there. Thinking, may wanna bring the roomie's cat in too. Shots are $9, so that's not bad. Nueter for my baby is $25 on average - for hers $42.50 on average. Shots are done for an hour W-F 4-5 pm, which I can do on Friday or Saturday morning 9-12. Yay! One thing done on my list of many things to accomplish.
Next on the list tonight:
1. Grocery shop for dinner
2. Call AOL and cancel (Yeah I know..I'm horrible)
3. Call gym and cancel
4. Cook myself dinner (An actual real dinner)
5. Clean kitchen (probably do before dinner)
6. Take out garbage I'd neglected to do all weekend
7. At least 2 loads of laundry (My blanket, which someone got sick all over..*must* wash!)

I took my vitamins today - one pill this morning and one this afternoon. I won't be taking any more of those today as only two are required. I also took the metabolift. Just one before each meal today ;) Not nearly as jittery as before, but I can tell my body isn't quite used to it. One pill though seems to be good. Have had one full glass of water and am working on my second one. Must remember to buy water from Slaveway.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished
devil girl

(no subject)

Just once, I'd like to be someone's priority. Is it really too much to ask? I put so much of myself into things...even intimate friendships...and, sometimes, it just seems I get so little back. I don't want to deliver ultimatums, or lose friends....but, on the other hand...well, it hurts to always be put on the back burner because something else has come up. I realize that sometimes, somethings are going to take a priority over a friend and/or partner. It just seems sometimes, that its always that way when it comes to me. I get an apologetic smile and a shrug...."I'm sorry." So am I. I'm sorry it hurts when I'm left behind to sigh and think "here we go again". But...when you want attention, or want the friendship...I'm always there. Most of the time...I just accept it as my nature.....I put myself there, I know it. But...tonight, tonight, I want to cry. It just feels so fucking empty.