September 30th, 2002

devil girl

(no subject)

Well, the weekend went well, I'd say. I'll write about class later.
Fenris' daughter stayed with us this weekend - its the first we've had her that long. I'm surprised I didn't feel quite as awkward as I normally do around children. Before I left for class, I fed her as Fenris was napping. I didn't get to spend much time with her overall on Saturday, but it sorta felt like a 'mom' thing to make sure she was fed, etc.
Sunday, we took her over to a friends house and let her play with their kids while we played games. Before that, we went to lunch at Izzy's. I did a little 'mom' thing there too, and I hope Fenris didn't mind. He said that he didn't, but I know some parents are a bit picky. She'd cut someone off in the buffet line, and I told her to say 'excuse me'. Of course, she didn't do it until dad told her, and even then she mumbled it. I was kinda proud of me though :) I enjoyed the weekend with her, and look forward to more visits.
It was nice to see William and Jenn as well. I haven't seen them in a really long time. Jenn mentioned that I looked happy with Fenris. Its nice to hear that. On the way home, I was talking to Fenris and pointing out some of the differences between the last relationship and this. It cemented even more, that while I'm a little sad and hurt that the door on that relationship has closed, I'm in a better place for myself. I think this, in and of itself, will help me move on fully. I bet Fenris will like that :)
Sunday night ended fairly well. All around, it was a nice weekend.
  • Current Music
    Inflateable Souls - Manta Ray
devil girl

Journey

Saturday during class we journeyed to the God & Goddess. We had 2 classes that day, with a potluck in between. For both journies, Angela did a guided meditation.

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This, of course, set me a little off for the weekend. Yes, I had a great time this weekend, and at some point I had let go enough to enjoy my weekend. But, it was always there, in the back of my mind. I had asked, I had reached out...to nothing. I know that they're there, I have faith in that. I'm reminded of the poem "Footprints"...but, it still bothers me, still hurts. And I'm left to wonder if I'll ever meet my God and Goddess, and if I do....how will I get there? When I think of it, I want to cry. Even those who weren't ready, were given messages...messages to wait, that it wasn't their time. And, yeah, maybe I'm not ready, maybe it isn't my time...but...why leave me nothing? What do I learn from this? What lesson is it that I need?
  • Current Music
    Inflatable Souls (on repeat)