October 1st, 2002

devil girl


Last night got better. He came to visit on my break, apologizing for lunch. We were out in the truck talking, and he asked me if I'd like to move in at the end of my lease.
This isn't as simple as it would seem. For the first time, there's a child to consider. What happens if I move in, we get her back living with us, and we split? That's going to have some impact on her. Not that I'm expecting us to split up...but, well, anything's possible. He hasn't promised me forever (not that he could). *shrugs* Then there's the aspect of, if I do move in and we get her back...am I really ready to be a 2nd mom to her? Am I prepared to walk into that? Give up the freedoms I enjoy now? I mean....really, its selfish little things...like, having the freedom to call a friend and go out to dinner, just because. With her, I'd have to worry about who's going to take care of her while I eat, or can I bring her along? Then there's figuring out where my boundaries are with her..and with him about parenting. I know that he's okay with me disciplining her, as long as I'm not slapping her and such. Which, I don't do, so he has no worries there. But...still, there are some boundaries, I'm sure. And then, its getting to know her better all in all. What will I do when she acts up? Because, she will, she's a kid. Its a given. And there are going to be times when I'm left by myself with her, so I have to have some control, have some idea of what the hell to do.
Then there's more trivial things...like my furniture. I know, I know. But, there's a few things that I really want right away. But, the problem is, they're also the only furnishings at the apartment, and I don't want to deprive my current room mates of somewhere to watch tv, ya know? *sigh* So much to think about...and it seems like a long time to consider it..but, in reality, that time'll be up before I know it.
Another note - I feel much better today. Time with the man and a nice bloody steak seemed to have been what I needed to put myself back on track. Oh...and that sinful sunday helped too *grins* He really is an understanding man, more so than I give him credit for sometimes I think.....and, last night, he proved it to me. He took care of me.
  • Current Music
devil girl

(no subject)

I no longer wonder why I'm so wierd...

Exhibit A...my mother...

marblecatz: be glad that you don't have to worry about what to wear for the prom anymore
onyxanglfyre: ....eh?
marblecatz: I'm watching Caraline Rae show
onyxanglfyre: The..who..?
marblecatz: kids are now making their prom dresses and tux's out of duc tape
marblecatz: She took over Rosie
onyxanglfyre: Yeah well, its cheap...
onyxanglfyre: Oh...
onyxanglfyre: duct tape.....may the force be with you...
marblecatz: lol
onyxanglfyre: It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together

I'm sure I'll have more...
devil girl

More on the duct tape universe...

See...told you there'd be more....

marblecatz: this 17 yr old, has a business with making things out of duct tape, barbie cloths, post cards, pic frames, besides cloths
onyxanglfyre: Well, if it sells...
marblecatz: sandels lol
onyxanglfyre: Ouch
onyxanglfyre: That would hurt...ripping off all those little hairs when you take off your shoes
onyxanglfyre: "Not sold to hairy people"
marblecatz: lol
marblecatz: They are now making a wallet
onyxanglfyre: Hmn...new trick to stopping impulse buying?
onyxanglfyre: Picture: Man at the store, struggling to keep his money from sticking to the wallet...
marblecatz: lol
onyxanglfyre: And if it gets hot....oh boy..can't even get it out of your pants!

Apparently, according to mom, said kid has a book: "Got Tape?"

Time to go home now....