June 7th, 2003

devil girl


Yay! Thank you Sandie! *bounce, bounce, bounce* I think I'm getting it now! LOL. Before I knew it, I even had 2 people show up in my personal network of friends....go figure. I've found many old elnk employees (Yeah, go figure that too :P) and so far have just been browsing. Hey, it'll keep me occupied ;)
  • Current Mood
    awake awake
devil girl

House ....stuffs...

I should be motivated, and I'm not. Its not as hot out today as it was yesterday, thankfully. I have energy, yesterday seemed to zap it all from me. I want to vacuum but Fenris is still asleep and I don't want to wake him yet. Besides, I just sat down with my first cup of coffee. I can't wait until I can have a real mocha without skyrocketing my blood sugars again.
So, I have plans for the house...a list of things to be done before Tuesday, and I'm hoping we make it. We have to go through the boxes in Pooh's room and get that set up for her. It won't be too long before she'll be living with us. (Oh lord! What the hell am I going to do with an 8 year old?!) ...and of course, there's the boxes in the baby's room, which is currently being used as storage. I want to get rid of some stuff, we don't have room for everything here, and I need to stop being a pack-rat. I don't want to end up like grandma - so much stuff in the house its *full* top to bottom. Overflowing full.
Gonna have him put up the sten unit today, so I can put at least some of my books away. Shelving! We need shelving! Also have plans on shopping for a carseat. A must have. I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but bambear and Kyros got us some stuff ..a stroller, a floor mat, a neat little carry thing. Next is a crib, but that can wait.
I also have to wash out the drawers to that plastic chest of drawers I have. I figure I can use that for the baby for now. Geeze, listing it all out...its a lot of work! We have company coming tomorrow for gaming, so I'd like the house to be clean at least. I'd like to get most of it done, so I don't have to worry about it. Bleh. At least its not as hot as yesterday...I can actually work in this weather
  • Current Mood
    should be motivated
devil girl

(no subject)

I'm messing around on that friendster thing, just checking out profiles and such. I'm quite proud of myself, really....I've messaged a few women who's profiles caught my interest. The significance of this is...I generally don't like women. Oh, sure, I have plenty of women aquaintances, but few that I really hang out with or would claim to 'know'. The reason? I'm not comfortable around women in general.
It feels like its competition everytime I'm around them. I'm pretty sure its just my own twisted perception...but, of yet, I haven't figured out how to alter that outlook. I'm getting better, I don't avoid them anymore. I don't think it helps that I grew up in a neighborhood full of boys, and am probably still a tom-boy at heart. I relate better to men, though they confuse me as much as women do sometimes too. With women, it seems I'm always waiting for someone to stab me in the back...whereas with men it seems to come as a total surprise if they do. Okay, its not logical, I know. Logically, I shouldn't really like either sex....I've been screwed over so many times by both men and women, its not funny.
So...women, yeah. I don't know. Maybe I can find a few that I can be close to and consider good friends...I think I keep hoping for that, but somehow I keep falling short. There's also the factor of my own insecurities. Women are generally prettier than I am, more confident...something. Its not that I feel I'm ugly....just...mn, plain jane? I dunno. Agressive or abrasive women are especially difficult for me to deal with, as I seem to loose all backbone around them. Its not that I cave in so much as I just sorta....remain silent and try to blend in so as not to be the object of their attention. With men, its not so. I have a difficult time with men who are that way too, but not as much.
Well, I guess that's enough rambling....I'm in danger of repeating msyelf if I keep going.