May 11th, 2005

devil girl

Happy birthday to me....

Didn't do a whole lot for my birthday, really. At least, not -on- my birthday. D took me to see Sin City on Friday (which was GREAT btw). We went with Bryan. Had dinner at Johnny Rocket's beforehand. D also bought me Phantom of the Opera on dvd...the new movie. I loved it. Phantom is a favorite play of mine. My big birthday present was, of course, Miss Saigon.
We didn't go to dinner for my birthday as we had planned, financial difficulties reared their ugly heads. *sigh* Oh well. Maybe on Friday we can do that. I'm still wanting a steak..and craving hard tacos for some reason. Erg.
I'm still kicking around the idea of being a real estate agent. I'd still like to do it, but things aren't looking particularly hopeful right now. *sigh again* I'm going to try for a 3rd time out of Friday's paycheck, but if I can't manage it, I think its time to realize I'm being told something. With that, hopefully, something else will open up. I'm considering looking for full time work if this doesn't pan out...but, I don't know. It would mean leaving the kids at home with mom more often. Its not an issue of trust...its not mom watching them that I mind, its that -I- want to be home with them. I miss them terribly when I'm gone. However, working and bringing in an income has become more appealing to me. It allows me a greater sense of freedom than I had before. I don't feel like I rely on him for everything....and that's....well, that's a lot. No matter what I do, or what path I travel, it isn't going to be easy anymore. Not that it ever was.
As quoted in a book I'm reading "Nothing is ever easy..."