onyx (onyxangel) wrote,
onyx
onyxangel

Uberdaddy's question for today...

Is all about phobias.

I have only one. One big, huge phobia. Spiders. All kinds....big, small, whatever. Its so intense that for a long time, I couldn't even breathe when I saw one. I'm getting better, I can at least breathe now. I can't do much more than that, but breathing is good :) I don't care what's done with the spider, as long as you get it out of my view. Kill it? Oh, no, not me...can't get that close to it of my own violition. And heaven help me if the thing is actually *on* me. I'll scream like a banshee....full panic mode is not pretty. And that's just the beginning, I'll end up a hysterical sobbing mess for a good 20 minutes, at least. Not to mention the nightmares that will cause. And the sickening feeling that its on me, long after its been killed or flung off. Wash it down the drain? Nope, no can do. At least, not if you expect me to actually get *in* the shower anytime soon. Irrational idea that its going to come back (don't laugh, I've seen them climb up the drain after you've just washed them down it.) ...or even more irrational, that it'll come through the shower head and land on me when I least expect it. Hey, phobias are *not* rational :P
I can pinpoint where I got this phobia, and even a little of why. As a child, I lived in Hawaii for some time. Anyone in a tropical place should be familiar with sugar cane spiders. Sure, they aren't *huge*...but, when I was little, they were monsters! Everyone told me they didn't bite...bullshit. I can't tell you how many times I've been bitten by those nasty buggers. And they're EVERYWHERE. You can't get rid of them, literally. And no, you can't drown them. I've tried, it doesn't work. They float. Or at least they did. I'm not joking. Not to mention that these spiders will *chase* you. Yes, that's right *chase*.
We lived in the old Japanese slave houses they used to have on the plantations. Its a duplex essentiall, bathroom on the back porch, old wooden tub in the basement. When you let out the water after a bath, invariably there'd be a spider there...floating ontop of the wood board we had for 'walking' across to where the clothes were. The water would flood the basement, so there was a shelf like bench that sat higher to keep clothes and towels and such dry. In the bathroom, one could often find black widows. Though, I was more frightened of the sugar cane spiders....they were far more agressive. Horrid, horrid creatures
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