Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

So, I'm not the best huh?

Last night, I was online chatting away at a new room I found for a message board roleplay. One of the guys I was talking to asked for a pic. I told him the only one I had was old, but I could pass it along (considering its on a website for a liveaction game I play sometimes, I felt it would be fine).
He tells me "You're okay...not the best, but you'd still turn me on." -blink- Excuse me? I'm not offended that he doesn't think I'm the prettiest woman in the world...I mean, we all have our tastes. I'm not to his, big deal. What upsets me is the lack to tact. There are an infinate number of ways to phrase that and not be so insulting. I mean, how would he like it if I came back and said "Oh, yeah...that's not the biggest cock I've seen...but, it'll work."
Maybe it bothers me so much because as I was growing up I was always told I 'could be so much prettier if' ...I hate that phrase. I hate it with a passion. The other one grandma used to use on a regular basis "You'd be thinner if..." *twitch* Yes, I hate that one too. No wonder I struggle with image issues.
I looked at a picture of me from 1992. I was amazed at how thin I looked, but I remember thinking that I was fat. Too fat to be wearing the costume I was wearing. It was a jester outfit, covered no more than a bathing suit. And no, I don't like bathing suits either...don't wear one unless I -have- to. Still, the idea that I thought I was fat is almost mind boggling to me. It occured to me as I looked at this picture, that it really didn't matter how thin I was...I always thought I was fat. Still, I'm not happy with the size of my body, though, frankly, I'm a lot more okay with my body and with my view of it (both positive and negative) than I ever used to be.
I have more to say on this....but the baby is fussing, so I need to go lay down with him. Hopefully, I'll remember what I want to say now later.


( 6 comments — Drop A Feather )
Aug. 21st, 2003 07:36 pm (UTC)
I suffered from bulimia/anoerexia for several years. I always thought I was fat, it came from my Mom always telling me I was.
I look at pictures of me.... it was sick.
Aug. 21st, 2003 09:06 pm (UTC)
I can't believe how tactless people seem to be these days. Everyone is so blunt and in-your-face for no damn reason.

I mean, if you asked him what he thought of the picture I could understand him saying something kind of like that. Maybe not those exact words... Did he just say this out of the blue or did you ask for his opinion?
Aug. 21st, 2003 09:56 pm (UTC)
I never ask for an opinion..primarily because I hate it when people ask me. If I don't like what I see, I find it awkard to pose a non-offensive response. Even had I asked for his opinion, more tact could have been used....even a vague "that's a good picture.." kind of response would have been preferable. But, that's just me.
Aug. 21st, 2003 11:13 pm (UTC)
What a dickhead. I hope you told him where to put his lack of tact. Sheeesh.

And for the record, I think you're quite pretty. He just has no taste.
Aug. 22nd, 2003 02:02 am (UTC)
*blush* Well, thank you :)
Aug. 22nd, 2003 06:02 am (UTC)
I suk. I do. yup. It's ez going thru life with minimal expectations. :D
( 6 comments — Drop A Feather )