onyx (onyxangel) wrote,

  • Mood:
Its come to my attention that not everyone is happy with my last post. I'm not entirely sure how to respond....I have a couple options. I can reset my filters, and hope that it doesn't cause more drama, or I can deal with the small bits that come in my email. Frankly, I have nothing to hide...and if one wants to read my journal, that is one's choice. I shouldn't have edit or filter what I say.
I want to point out that last night wasn't about me being with someone new....it was about me. It was about me giving thought to the future - as the title said. It was me processing where my life is, and where I want it to be eventually. Am I 'over' things? Not necessarily. But, I do have to move on. I have the kids, and because of that, I can't be wallowing the past. I have to look toward the future and make some sort of plan...and though I don't have a plan for a new partner laid out, I do have some idea of what I'd like in general. I've learned from this last relationship, and for that I'm grateful. I haven't forgotten what it was, in the beginning or in the end.
The 'couple years' haven't been washed away, to be callously replaced by someone new. But, that doesn't mean that I can't move on. I am healing, as I should...as I need to. The process isn't complete yet, and that's okay. I have found someone to give my attention to, but for the moment, that's all it is. Its not a new daddy for the kids...I'm not entirely sure I'd even call it 'dating' per se. He's someone I can talk to, someone I can just be with, and that relaxes me. I have every right to become more social...every right to move on, to be happy with who I am, where I am and where I want to go with my life.
If someone can't allow that to happen, then I'm sorry. Its no longer about anyone else. Its about me.

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