onyx (onyxangel) wrote,

Conversations like this....

should never happen

Cust: I can't get connected!
Me: Okay...(already knowing he's got an aircard)...let me have you bring up the connection manager.
He does so.
Me: Alright...go ahead and press the button for edge/gprs, please. (he does) Now, make sure the pull down menu that has "connect using" is set to {network}, and then hit connect.
He gets himself (after a few times of walking him through where to find the connect button) connected. We pull up the browser, and I have him surf to red.com. I swear this man is on a speaker phone or something - I'm only getting part of what he's saying, between the speed of his speech, the general muttering, and the fact that he seemed to be walking *away* from the phone while freaking out.
Cust: It says (something I can't fully hear or understand) work offline
Me: Okay, that's an easy fix. In the open browser window, go into file....
Cust: (pause, an irritated sigh, another pause) Start?
Me: No. Right there, in the open window for Internet Explorer, there should be a file option near the top..please select that.
Cust: Oh, yeah..right, right. There.
Me: On the list, it should have "work offline"...is that marked?
Cust: Yes.
Me: Go ahead and remove the check mark from that, and try going to red.com again
Cust: (muttering, sighing, generally acting as if I've just asked him to save the world with a toothpick) Okay, I'm there.
Me: Great! So, now you're connected, and should be able to browse anytime you want. Looks like all we needed to do was make sure the browser wasn't in a work offline mode...
Cust: It was never checked!
(insert urge to bang head to make it stop hurting here)
Cust: I'm connected..but I'm not connected through my card! (more panicing, muttering and sighing)
Me: Uhm, okay. Do you have another way of connecting to the internet?
Cust: No.
Me: (after picking my jaw up from the desk and biting my tongue) Well, then you're connected....you were able to browse....
Cust: (cutting me off) Yes, but not through the card! I have two computers down there...and there's a big X through them! What good is this if it isn't working?!
Me: (Pause, hesitate, try to figure out what he's talking about) Okay, when you click on those, what's it say?
Cust: Weefee (pronounced as its spelled, by the way) ...W-I-F-I
Me: Oh, yes...well, you're connected through gprs, but you are...
Cust: But it says I'm not connected!
Me: Not through Wi-Fi...you can't be connected to both, but again, you're connected to the edge/gprs...
Cust: You're confusing me! (more whining that I don't fully hear or understand) What good is this if I can't get connected? It's not working!
Me: Well, Sir, you *are* connected....
Cust: Now it says it wants a network key...what's that?
Me: (again, biting my tongue) Well, its a network key to access the wi-fi network.
Cust: Well, I need that...what is it?
Me: Most of our wi-fi connections are public..you wouldn't need a key to access...
Cust: I can't connect! If you don't have the key...why did I buy this? I don't understand! What's the Wi-Fi for then?
Me: Well, Sir, its for when you're somewhere where edge/gprs doesn't have a signal or connection...like a starbucks or barnes and noble...
Cust: I need the network key!
Me: I can get you down to our wi-fi department, and they can answer any questions you have on...
Cust: What's the key?
Me: What network are you trying to connect to?
Cust: I don't know! (whining again)
Me: (trying not to say something that'll get me fired at this point) Well, when you look at the connection manager, there should be a list of networks...
Cust: Yeah..
Me: Which one is highlighted?
Cust: AT&T
Me: Okay, you'll have to call AT&T to get the network key...you're trying to log onto an AT&T network
Cust: But...what good is this if I can't connect?!
Me: Would you like to connect to the wi-fi instead of the gprs?
Cust: YES! (More whining about how he's not connected, how I'm confusing him, and how much time he's spent trying to get the *insert choice words* card to work)

Seriously. Almost an hour on that call.....*after* I had the issue solved. Dude...you ARE connected. You can't browse without connection.....if you don't have that much computer understanding, please....DO NOT purchase one. Ever.
I think my ears were close to bleeding.....

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