I have noticed, recently, its effecting my self-esteem more than it used to. I don't feel beautiful or sexy when I look in the mirror - I feel fat. I hate that feeling. At the party this weekend, I almost avoided the hot tub, because the idea of people seeing me nude was ...well, not comforting, to say the least. And it wasn't my usual bout of modesty. I went in with my arms held over my stomach, as if to hide it from people. I'm tired of feeling this way, or having that desire.
So, I've decided to give weight loss another go. I've tried before, but have only done so half-heartedly, and have not, thus far managed to stick to a diet of any sort. I can't guarantee I'll do better this time, but I'm certainly going to try! Besides, this time isn't so much of a 'diet'. I just need to change my eating habits a little bit at a time and become healthier. Not to mention, I need to increase my activity.
So, knowing what to do, I've begun already. I've begun tracking my excersize and food at myfitnesspal.com - linked in swade's journal. I think, so far, I'm doing pretty good. I haven't had to cut out any foods, or anything that drastic. I haven't even had to cut out my soda, though I am trying to cut back on that. I am trying to drink more water as well.
This morning, even though it isn't tracked (mostly because I'm not sure where to add pilates), I did some pilates. Or, I tried. I did stick with the attempt for 30 minutes. I think, though, that I'm going to have to find something else. Not because the excersizes are too difficult, per se, but because a lot are done on your back with your legs in "table" position. Which is where you lift your legs, bending them at the knee like you're going to bring them to your chest. I discovered that there's a spot on my back, near the tailbone, that hurts when I do that. I'm not talking a little bit of muscle groaning and protest because they aren't used to being used. Oh, no...I'm talking bone hurting enough to bring tears to my eyes. I fear that the yoga dvd I have, which is given by the same instructor, will hold many of the same types of positions - and I can't do that kind of pain. It was a bit discouraging, to say the least. I'm looking into purchasing yoga booty ballet or hip hop abs (yeah, I know, too many informercials). They look fun actually....and though it may be hard to keep up at first, I think I can do it.
Anyway, wish me luck!