onyx (onyxangel) wrote,

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Lots going on...

But, as I'm on a small break so that my brain doesn't go numb, I'll post a small update.

Grandma went to the hospital again last week. Mom called the medics again around midnight, last Wednesday I think it was. Her regular doctor came to see her and had a CT scan done. Apparently, she had a stroke after the surgery on her hand. She spent a day or two up at the stroke unit at Providence, but is now settled into Whiteaker. It's a nursing/rehabilitation home. I'm not sure how long she's going to stay there, but they're working with her. If she can't stand, we can't bring her home because we can't care for her. She's having difficulty speaking, so she's going to have a speech therapist too. Her doctor has said that she might not really recover from this stroke, and while she's doing much better than a couple days ago, even - I won't get my hopes up.

I think it's time to let go, really. Unfortunately, that brings about thoughts of panic - my children and I are not provided for if she dies. Part of me hopes she lives for that reason, to give us time. Another part of me hopes she just lets go, because I know that she doesn't want to live the way she has been.

There are other, more positive things to post on, and I will. I've just been lacking mental capacity and energy to do so. I blame the heat, among other things.

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