onyx (onyxangel) wrote,

I feel better

Well, this Friday night started out...lets face it, not good. I ended work wanting a strong drink. It wasn't that the day was bad, because it was a decent day. I don't know what it was, maybe just Friday? At any rate, no drink, but that's okay, I've lost the craving. I progressed from wanting the drink to being incredibly lonely. Enough to make me cry. I haven't felt like that in a long time...I mean, a *long* time. Even when I was single I didn't feel lonely. But, as I sit and write this, I'm okay. I mean, really okay.
I called Aleric, as per previous arrangements and met with his voice mail. So far, no return call. I can only guess that he's out with his friend, as he'd mentioned earlier. He had invited me to go, but I guess I missed out. Oh well. This didn't really help that creeping feeling of lonliness though. I got online when I got home, and cried. Yes, that's right. I cried. That helped me feel better, though still a little blue. I hopped off, and went to lay on the couch to watch tv and contemplate dinner - cooking was out. Not in the mood.
Okay, I have the blues, not in the mood to cook, and not really in the mood to go out in the cold to get something to eat. Felt like Teriyaki, but that required shivering my ass off. Uhm, no. That leaves pizza. Yummy, hot, cheesy, gooey, greasy pizza. Perfect food for the blues. I tried one of those pizzones from Pizza Hut. Yum. Its tasty..and the marinara sauce they give with it is a little bit sweet. I ate the whole thing...still have pizza left over. Special came with that and a medium pizza...good thing I didn't go for the large!!
Lance found me online - we've started talking again. For a long time, I thought he'd lost all interest in me, he was looking for something sexual and 'casual'...I was looking for friendship with possibilities. Circumstance dictated that we got along well but both were too shy to get anything going...so, we ended up not really talking. Lately, we've been just talking more and its kinda cool. He's aware of Tyr and does ask about him sometimes. I told him tonight I was lonely, and he was concerned about me missing Tyr. He works near here, so on his lunch (he works nights) he came over to visit for a bit. It was nice...and much needed. Jenni went to see Rob this weekend..and I don't think I was really prepared to be left alone for the weekend so soon. Normally, her being over there doesn't bother me..in fact, I enjoy the time to myself. But, this weekend.....
At any rate, the visit from Lance was just what I needed to lift my spirits. We talked about AT&T and what a bitch it can be to deal with them, and various things about life and watched part of 28 Days together. And though this weekend may be a bit rocky emotion wise, I think I'm better prepared to handle it...and am actually starting to look forward to tomorrow. Even working the club...getting all dressed up and such. I think its the beginning of the upswing for me.
Plan of attack tomorrow:

1 - Ikea to get the desk, shelves and storage box to double as an altar, maybe 2 - one for the tv so Jenni can have her trunk back ;)
3 - Slaveway - assorted food items - essential for survival and snack attacks
4 - Hair and nails done
5 - Somewhere in the day put desk and shelves together - and hopefully manage to get room slightly rearranged to fit shelves
6 - Get all gussied up and head to the club

Voila! Oooh....shit, somewhere, gotta head to mom's. Maybe sometime Sunday. Erph. Well, anyway....I have to get some of this done, or I'm gonna go nuts. I want the desk!!!! No more keyboard in the lap or perching at the end of the chair to type! Yay!!

*sigh content* I feel much better....

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