During wax play, sing "Happy Birthday to Me " and blow
out the candle
In the middle of an intense flogging, close your eyes
Using your best Howard Cosell impression, give a
play-by-play account of what is being done to you.
When ordered "Look me in the eyes!" do it cross-eyed.
During a public verbal humiliation scene, stick your
fingers in your ears and say, "Nyah, nyah, I can't
Decorate your Top's leathers with neon polka dots and
Put a whoopee cushion in your Top's chair.
"Just say, 'No.'"
Use the toybag for dirty laundry. Forget to switch the
contents before the next play party.
Stick an Alka-seltzer in your mouth at the start of a
scene. Work up a good foam, and call out your safe
Sing while being cropped.
Speak a language your Top doesn't know.
Tell your Top you can't count because your hands are
tied up and you can't see your fingers.
Take messages for your Top by writing them on post-its
and sticking them on your rear.
Superglue the nipple clamps shut.
Attach "clappers" to all the lights in the dungeon
just before a paddling