onyx (onyxangel) wrote,
onyx
onyxangel

Joke...


If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
Dunno about you but it hardly seems worth it!

Did you know..
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 8 months, enough gas is produced
to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
Now that's more like it!

Did you know..
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
In my next life I want to be a pig! But how'd they figure this out, and why?

Did you know..
Banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour.
Don't try this at home. But maybe at work..

Did you know..
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
Is that why Flipper was always smiling? And pigs get 30-minute orgasms?
Doesn't seem fair!

Did you know..
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
Hmmmmmmmmm........

Did you know..
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
people do.
If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?

Did you know..
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight,can pull 30 times its own weight
and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
From drinking little bottles of...? Did taxpayers pay for this research??

Did you know..
Polar bears are left handed.
Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out, ask them?

Did you know..
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
What can be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?

Did you know..
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
length of a football field.
30 minutes...can you imagine?? And why pigs?

Did you know..
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
Creepy..

Did you know..
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
"Honey, I'm home. What the...."
*Think of all the problems it would solve, girls: No post-coital snoring,
wondering if he's going to stay for breakfast, waiting for him to sneak
out... and ya KNOW he hasn't been with anyone else :)

Did you know..
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
In my next life I still want to be a pig... quality over quantity

Did you know..
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Geez, that's almost as bad as catfish. Good thing they don't have sex for
pleasure!

Did you know..
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
I know some people like that.

Did you know..
Starfish don't have brains.
I know some people like that too.

So what has this page taught us? Well, nothing very important. But after
reading all these, all I can say is............ Lucky Pigs!
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